"I almost died!" - Simpsons 
"That's not a tool,thats a damn brick" - Gone In 60 Seconds
"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES" - Simpsons
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" - Simpsons
"Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own" - Simpsons
"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" - Simpsons
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'" - Simpsons
"You can't get there from here.  Well you can, it just won't be fun" - Unknown
"Ladies and gentlemen, Micheal Bolton has just threatened to kill me" - Conan O'Brian
"Sometimes the perfect person for you is the one you least expect" - Unknown
"D'oh!!!" - Simpsons (Hommer)
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" - Unknown
"Always love your enemies - nothing annoys them so much" - Oscar Wilde
"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why" - Eddie Canto
"Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble" - French Proverb
"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else" - Benjamin Franklin
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac" - George Carlin
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for" - Unknown
"Happiness is like a cat. If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you. It will never come. But if you pay no attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing up against your legs and jumping into your lap" - William Bennett
"When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters - one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity" - Saul David Alinsky
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today" - James Dean
"When the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems begin to resemble nails" - Abraham Maslow
"Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character" - John Wooden
"Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking" - J. C. Watts
"A day without laughter is a day wasted" - Charlie Chaplin
"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy" - Thich Nhat Hanh
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you" - Dale Carnegie
"I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority" - E.B. White
"The universe is made of stories, not of atoms" - Muriel Rukeyser
"Love means to love that which is unloveable. Otherwise it is no virtue at all" - G.K. Chesterton
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate" - Thomas Jones
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction" - E. F. Schumacher
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it" - Groucho Marx
"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me ... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you" - Walt Disney
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it" - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
"Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing" - Oscar Wilde
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do ... Explore. Dream. Discover" - Mark Twain
"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in" - Leonard Cohen
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about" - Charles Kingsley
"It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can weep down the mightiest walls of oppression and injustice" - Robert F. Kennedy
"We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over" - Aneurin Bevan (1897)
"Time is the most valuable coin in your life. You and you alone will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you" - Carl Sandberg
"Painting is poetry which is seen and not heard, and poetry is a painting which is heard and not seen" - Leonardo Da Vinci
"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live" - Mark Twain
"There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum" - Arthur C. Clarke
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch" - Jack Nicholson 
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation" - Saki (1870 - 1916)
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one" - Leo J. Burke
"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them" - Sue Grafton
"I searched through rebellion, drugs, diets, mysticism, religions, intellectualism and much more, only to begin to find that truth is basically simple - and feels good, clean and right" - Chick Corea
"640K ought to be enough for anybody" - Bill Gates
"When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before" - Mae West
"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you" - William Arthur Ward
"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet" - Robin Williams 
"A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms" - George Wald
"For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum" - J.W. Schopf
"A mind that has been stretched will never return to its original dimension" - Albert Einstein
"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love" - Woody Allen 
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest" - Tom Stoppard
"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters" - Solomon Short
"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes" - Oscar Wilde
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful" - Robert De Niro 
"CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power" - Arthur C. Clarke
"Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'" - Michael McClary
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture" - Robin Williams 
"She wanted something to happen - something, anything: she did not know what" - Kate Chopin
"The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal" - H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place" - Billy Crystal 
"Only as you do know yourself can your brain serve you as a sharp and efficient tool. Know your own failings, passions, and prejudices so you can separate them from what you see" - Bernard M. Baruch
"The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it" - Warren Buffett
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same" - Oscar Wilde
"Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster" - Quentin Crisp
"Unless man is committed to the belief that all mankind are his brothers, then he labors in vain and hypocritically in the vineyards of equality" - Adam Clayton Powell Jr.
"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'" - Maya Angelou 
"Truth is so great a perfection, that if God would render himself visible to men, he would choose light for his body and truth for his soul" - Pythagorus
"Friendship based solely upon gratitude is like a photograph; with time it fades" - Carmen Sylva
"I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week" - Mario M. Cuomo
"An empowered organization is one in which individuals have the knowledge, skill, desire, and opportunity to personally succeed in a way that leads to collective organizational success" - M. Shawn Covey
"Isn't it surprising how many things, if not said immediately, seem not worth saying ten minutes from now?" - Arnot L. Sheppard Jr.	
"How often misused words generate misleading thoughts" - Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)
"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances" - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
"Think where man's glory most begins and ends, And say my glory was I had such friends" - William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)	
"The instinct to command others, in its primitive essence, is a carnivorous, altogether bestial and savage instinct. Under the influence of the mental development of man, it takes on a somewhat more ideal form and becomes somewhat ennobled, presenting itself as the instrument of reason and the devoted servant of that abstraction, or political fiction, which is called the public good. But in its essence it remains just as baneful, and it becomes even more so when, with the application of science, it extends its scope and intensifies the power of its action. If there is a devil in history, it is this power principle" - Mikhail Aleksandrovich Bakunin (1814 - 76)
"Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive" - Scott Adams
"Nature never says one thing, Wisdom another" - Juvenal (AD 60? - 140?)
"And life is what we make it, always has been and always will be" - Grandma Moses
"Many things in life will catch your eye but few will catch your heart... Pursue those" - Unknown
"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"The penalty of success is to be bored by the attentions of people who formerly snubbed you" - M. W. Little
"You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows" - William Peter Horn
"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star" - Friedrich Neitzsche
"For this generation, ours, life is nuclear survival, liberty is human rights, the pursuit of happiness is a planet whose resources are devoted to the physical and spiritual nourishment of its inhabitants" - James Earl 'Jimmy' Carter, Jr
"Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination" - Christopher William Bradshaw Isherwood (1904 - 86)
"From quiet homes and first beginning, Out to the undiscovered ends, There's nothing worth the wear of winning, But laughter and the love of friends" - Hilaire Belloc (1870 - 1953)
"The deeper the sorrow the less tongue it hath" - The Talmud (BC 500 - 400 AD)
"You wake up in the morning, and your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life! It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. No one can take it from you. And no one receives either more or less than you receive" - Thomas Arnold Bennett
"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo" - H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946)
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever" - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) 
"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake" - Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887 - 1956) 
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great" - Golda Meir (1898 - 1978) 
"His ignorance is encyclopedic" - Abba Eban (1915 - 2002) 
"If a man does his best, what else is there?" - General George S. Patton (1885 - 1945) 
"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better" - A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963) 
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid" - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855) 
"Give me chastity and continence, but not yet" - Saint Augustine (354-430)
"Who will, can; Who tries, does; and Who loves, lives" - Anne McCaffrey
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted" - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) 
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on" - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) 
"One of the best, beautiful qualities in a true friendship is to be understood" - Seneca
"I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself" - Mikhail Baryshnikov
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use" - Galileo Galilei 
"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work" - Emile Zola (1840 - 1902) 
"This book fills a much-needed gap" - Moses Hadas (1900 - 1966) 
"The full use of your powers along lines of excellence" - John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963) 
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart" - E. E. Cummings (1894 - 1962) 
"Give me a museum and I'll fill it" - Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973) 
"It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has" - Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is" - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut 
"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have" - Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) 
"Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems" - Rene Descartes (1596 - 1650)
"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right" - Henry Ford (1863 - 1947) 
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'" - Yoda
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it" - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) 
"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed" - George Burns (1896 - 1996)
"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves" - Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951)
"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense" - Edsgar Dijkstra
"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg" - Bjarne Stroustrup
"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid" - Richard Braunstein
"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems" - Paul Erdos
"Friendship is the only thing in this world, the usefulness of which all mankind are in agreement" - Marcus Tullius Cicero
"Those who are blessed with the most talent don't necessarily outperform everyone else. It's the people with follow-through who excel" - Mary Kay Ash
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad" - Salvador Dali (1904 - 1989)
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are driving taxi cabs and cutting hair" - George Burns
"Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind" - Bertrand Russell
"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there" - Will Rogers
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days" - Garrison Keilor
"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance" - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near" - Andrew Marvell (1621 - 1678)
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws" - Plato (427 - 347 BC)
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it" - George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world" - Albert Einstein
"Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'" - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
"We have art to save ourselves from the truth" - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
"My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment" - Oprah Winfrey
"99% of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses" - George Washington Carver
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake" - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)
"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe" - H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946)
"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must" - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'" - unknown
"If you are going through hell, keep going" - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go" - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh" - Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries" - A.A. Milne
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death" - H. H. Munro (1870 - 1916)
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter" - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them" - Ian L. Fleming (1908 - 1964)
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars" - J. Paul Getty (1892 - 1976)
"Facts are the enemy of truth" - Don Quixote
"Life is what happens while you are making other plans" - John Lennon
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity" - Albert Einstein
"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world" - George Washington Carver (1864 - 1943)
"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself" - Anais Nin (1903 - 1977)
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" - Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)
"I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right" - Frederick (II) the Great
"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell" - Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact" - George Eliot (1819 - 1880)
"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930)